*I had typed this up back in 2011 and came across it recently. I was going to just delete the post, but something made me go back and read it, several times. I decided, oh hell, share it Jan, because, honestly, things have changed so much over the years, both myself and the kids, our lives in general and so on. So, here you have it … a little bit of reflection I must have been having that fine June day in 2011 … *Note, I am immensely proud of how my children have come around and grown in the past 5 1/2 years! I think it’s very important to remember that yes, your children are a reflection of you BUT they are also individuals who will grow as they may, no matter how hard you push them a certain way*
Being a mom of older ones, specifically young adults. It goes to show you that LIFE is hard, but there are so many rewards to be had.
I know I’ve done a fairly decent job as a mom, raised two kids to become young adults in a fast paced lifestyle environment. Shoot, they don’t call us Fort Liquordale for nothin you know.
I can say with 100% conviction that Sonny Boy does not smoke, drink OR do drugs. I can be pretty confident in also saying that he will probably never smoke as he’s a very big anti-smoker (and one my number one reasons for sticking with the No Smoke campaign). We’ve not had any issues, close calls or such to cause concern. The police have been to our house but only because a neighbor in a condo, the next street over, called to complain about the “noise” they were making at 3pm on a Friday afternoon as they rehearsed in the garage. The officer said he was rather impressed with the noise, glad to see they were doing that instead of other things and carry on, just turn the volume down a bit. That officer drives by occasionally and will inquire how the kids are all doing. He’s never had a paying job (with the exception of extra chores to help pay for something he truly desires) and he can save a dollar for a month and still function through life in some roundabout way. He has aced his SAT exam yet barely passed Algebra. The kid would have been a straight A student had he gotten past the fact that he didn’t like the school he was attending (long story). He’s a true born musician, has that special gene that Artsy people have (those of you who have kids or are in that frame yourself know exactly what I mean) and as much as sometimes the mindset annoys me, I do my best to recognize his talent.
Princess, on the other hand, does smoke, and yes, I can say it, she will drink occasionally. I don’t think she’s been falling down drunk (maybe once) and I don’t believe she’s ever done anything she regretted afterwards. She’s tried things I prefer not to mention and fortunately, moved on from them, leaving them in the dust behind her. She did do the route of National Guard which made us very proud. She did intelligence training. She also broke during that training, which is why she is back home with us and not in some war torn country. To which I am most thankful for. Thankful that she broke HERE on US soil and not THERE in enemy territory. I can also say that she’s faithfully worked since she was 15 with a few unemployment weeks in between. She does NOT save her money, but rather, I think, rebels against the frugal wants vs needs I followed in her way younger days. She’s caused us heartache and heart attacks, often in the same hour but she has grown into a fine young woman of 20. I look at her, see the Princess of days gone by, remember her first day of school and the adoration she used to show the adults … and see the respect that she has finally learned to share with others again. It’s been rough. It’s been hell, who am I kidding? But she’s come around, and God, I am so thankful for that.
Do I agree with both of the kids course of action? Of course not. But I do not condone it either. They are officially young adults and what they choose to do can and will have a lifetime effect on them. They are well aware of that, tattoos, piercings, etc.
I’ve always coddled my kids (honestly, I can now admit it) but never ever have I made them innocent or perfect. I think it was my way of trying to give them acceptance. It’s been difficult to cut the strings from them. It’s even more difficult to continuously remind myself that they don’t need Mom in the way they used to. Yeah, I know, they will always need Mom, but not in the needy, must be there every waking moment way of days past.